Here at The Good Life you will find everything you need to know about love. You will receive advice from real people with real problems, not some counselor that doesn't even have a relationship... No, this isn't Dr. Phil, but one thing that we promise to do is "Keep It Real" with advice on anything from your love life to your sex life. Finding solutions to your problems is what we do best! Just click on the envelope above and let us know whats going on...
*This is not a professional counseling service and we will not be held responsible for any misconduct that is done on your behalf by any advice given rather it is thru our staff or thru other citizens. If you truly have a critical issue, we advice you to seek professional counseling, this is strictly for entertainment purposes.
Now this is not the first time I've touched on this topic, but I think it deserves to be revisited. I should state that this is MY opinion, although a number of you will agree. Let me first describe Mr. Regular Joe Blow......He is between the ages of 26 & 35, he is attractive, he can be employed, underemployed or a student, he is smart, but he may not be degreed down, he could have his own spot or he may live with a relative. What I'm saying is he's charming, he has personality, he has potential, but he's flying under your radar so none of these attributes get noticed. He's just not that dude that you look at first for whatever reason, but he's a good dude.
Now on my FB page (www.facebook.com/nishaspeaks) we have had an in depth discussion on why females never go for Regular Joe Blow, I received comments from both men and women. Some men said "women would rather have a man dog them than love them", women said "yeah Regular Joe Blow treats me great, but can he put it down in the bedroom???" Women feel that regular Joe Blow can't "multi-task" if you will. "He can't be the loving sweet man I need AND be the ‘bad boy’ I want." While Regular Joe Blow says, "Hey, I CAN put it down, if you ever gave me a chance!"
As a single woman with single women friends I hear the same relationship conversation rehashed over and over..."I'm dating So and So……I'm not dating So and So anymore, he played me, he dogged me, he was MARRIED!!!" So are we picking the wrong guys? Are we a glutton for punishment because we're looking over Regular Joe Blow? Is Regular Joe Blow going to do me "right" if I just gave him a chance???
So I did it. I gave Regular Joe Blow a shot!
He fit the Regular Joe Blow description to a tee: 30 year old blue collar worker had his own spot, a good dude. He took me out, he called all the time, he texted for no reason, we had inside jokes on social networks for the world to see.......could this be??? WOW! I mean I thought this feels really good! So I started to show let my guard down. I mean I was really going to give him a chance because he was bringing it. Then Regular Joe Blow starts feeling himself. Starts doing all the stuff So and So did. I say ok cool let me pull back because, dude it’s not that deep. So just like with So and So and every man for that matter, you pull back and they push, giving you so much attention, but I see how you roll Regular Joe Blow. We still talk from time to time but seriously it's NOTHING!
So silly me what do I do??? I try it again.....brand new Regular Joe Blow! Will he do me like So and So? Is he going to be the best thing since sliced bread because he is Regular Joe Blow? I don't know, that's a chance I just have to take. But what I have come to find out is.....It can be Regular Joe Blow or So and So, they're MEN and men have a wiring that makes them really crappy sometimes. So I keep pushing. Enjoying whomever I choose to let into my life and share my conversation, my time, maybe even my affection.
Posted by: Langston T. Carr So all this time we've been teaching women about how to lift themselves up and control their own relationships... We've forgotten all about the fellas, so this blog is just for you, however, it's for the ladies to disect. We can't explain all of our unjust reasons for acting out in certain ways, but it is true what they say "If you don't stroke a man's ego somebody else will."
Just as chivalry is from a man to a woman, stroking a man's ego is an art form of the past which is sad because it's one of the most simple and wonderful things a woman can do for her to make a relationship last... Think about it, regardless of rather you are attractive or unattractive, has anyone ever said something that was so great about you that it just totally flipped your bad day into a good one? Who doesn't love to be told, "You really look nice today," or "What fragrance are you wearing because you smell nice," or my personal favorite "Your wife is so lucky to have you..."
All these things are done with positive reactions which encourage you to - gain more confidence, to believe in yourself more, to help you to see what you don't see in yourself that others see smack dead in front of them... However these words of encouragement can have negative intentions behind them if they come from the wrong person. That being said, one thing is certain, you must be careful on how you decide to stroke a man's ego because if there is one thing that a man can do well, it's "RUN TELL DAT." And I promise you that you will never hear the end of it. Think about the guys that you know that purchase Trojan Magnums to boost their egos and talk about them for bragging rights, while others just purchase them because they fit then specifically says to you "I just buy them because they fit..." Although that was bragging just a tad bit there, there are certain ways to go about doing so which may not come across as being too shallow.
I’ve found that in most cases the greater one’s ego, the greater one’s ignorance. Ego can be an important agent in personal productivity, but ego gone wild will prohibit you from discovering a more truthful and meaningful life. It is only when you allow some humility to guide you that you can acknowledge your shortcomings, which then can lead to self-improvement and a more enlightened perspective of yourself and the world at large.
It's not bad to boost a man's ego from time to time... Just make sure that you do it efficiently and effectively... There are a lot of women who are still single because they feel that the little things their mothers and grandmothers did to stay married, are too beneath them to deal with... But obviously they were doing something right because now, 1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce if you're under the age of 30!!
As much as women try to equate the difference between men and women, they fail to realize how simple we really are... All we want is a women to make us feel good about being with them...Thats it!!
If you know your man like sex, then make sure you turn him out, scream his name, and keep him wanting more!! Hell, he's your man, why else are you with him besides keeping him happy so he will do the same for you!! If he likes home cooked meals...cook for him!! If you don't know how, learn!! You'll be surprised what you can get from a man if he was to come home everynight from work to a meal prepared by his woman!! If you see him in a bad or down mood, talk to him...Sit on his lap and ask him how his day was, and really listen!! All of these things go along with stroking a man's ego!! If ever in doubt, just remember, we men are simple... So simple does it, now HELP US GET OUR SWAGGER BACK!
This topic came after talking to a male friend, who just so happens to be married, about his wife not putting it down, saying that he needed to get a girlfriend because his wife wasn’t taking care of his needs at home, I was baffled by this casue, “I’m like, my man, doesn’t have that problem, I make sure that I give it to him when he needs its, even if I don’t want it”. I said to him, “I’m not leaving room for another broad to come and do what I need to do” and went on to say. “I’m doing it all from back flips to cartwheels”! It made me think of the song by Toni Braxton and Betty Wright. Both women with their songs are sending out a very important message, Be all that he wants you to be sexually, thus, no one will be able to come in and take care of what you are depriving your mate of.
Toni’s Braxton’s hit “Please” first and for most, should be the theme song for wives, long term girlfriend significant others, or whatever you choose to call yourselves, and then there will be no room for the “clean up woman”. I have several male friends who are married and have found themselves stepping out on their as we’re gonna call them here “mates (just too sum all categories), that the number one reason why a man steps out his mate is for physical (sexual) reason. Don’t get me wrong, there are others reasons too, but in this blog we are going to focus on one topic; Creepin Casue She Aint Sleepin.
Kinda shocking, but I never paid attention to the lyrics of the song,” Please” by Toni Braxton, such powerful words; something that I have been screaming all my life “Never leave room for the Clean up woman” She is simply stating that if my man wants IT, I got it, however he wants IT, I got it, and telling all other women that I got this over here. Any woman that he can think about being with, Fall Back hell that woman’s in me!
“I love my mate , I really do and I really don’t wanna cheat on her” or, “Man, I wish she would do this”, or Before we got married/serious she used to do this, hell that’s one of the reasons why I married her”! Just a few statements from men whom have admittedly cheated on their mates have spoken as, to reasons why they cheat.
I’m not sure what happens, where a woman refuses to please her man, I’ve asked some guys when were the last time ya’ll where intimate, and he response is “can’t remember the last time” My question is, If you’re not giving it to him, than who is? Let’s not be naïve and think that he’s not, because baby…he is! There should never be a time that he wants it and you don’t give it. You should always be willing and able to put it down. Lyric’s by Bettys Wright “Clean Up Woman”
"I took this man's love and put it on a shelf And like a fool, I thought I had him all to myself When he needed love, I was out havin' fun But I found out all I had done Was made it easy For the clean up woman To get my man's love, Yeah, that's what I did I made it easy For the clean up woman To steal my baby's love," It’s sad, but this is what a lot of you women are doing, you think that because you have the ring, that you don’t have to ensure that he’s satisfied sexually, oooh but you do…STOP making it EASY!
Find out what your man really likes! Some guys cheat, not because their woman isn’t performing in the bedroom, but because she doesn’t take the time out to figure out what he really likes, but I can tell you that the other woman does; She knows what excites him, why, because she simply takes the time to find out. If he likes fellatio…she knows it and gives it to him at no avail, not one question asked and definitely not making him feel that he’s treating her like a piece of meat…But that’s the thing ladies, you are, let than man marinate in that meat every time he chooses! Lyrics from “Please” by Toni Braxton
"I know you watch all over here, tryna, finda way to come into my situation, but you should know this. Its all good so be cool ,I got him locked, and he's all mine So you should know better than To think that you could ever put it down like I can."Ladies pay full attention to these lyrics, so true.
Women try to fool themselves into thinking that sex isn’t a huge part of a successful marriage and/or relationship. I would beg to differ and say that it is. Communication is key, developing a spiritual and emotional connection is key, But if the sex factor is an X-factor, then you have a major problem, and mostly someone else is creating a solution. I am not at all condoning the sista behavior that may be creeping with your man; Just remember that just when you think he want…she will. We tend to make it so easy for women when we don’t perform when we should.
Women also tend to place full blame on the one that he’s creeping with, but never once take some of the credit for their man going out on them. Ask yourself this question, am I doing what I need to do to keep him home and satisfied, are he’s sexual desires being adhered too? Do we discuss our sex life, Am I taking the time out to know what my man likes? Chorus from “Please” by Toni Braxton; Making it plain to all the females that may think about stepping to her man: She’s screamin ladies there is not room for you, because whatever he wants, I’m with it. Never, get too comfortable with thinking that every now and then it enough, a little is never enough.
If he needs good lovin (i got it)If i need to heat it up (i got fire),Make sure i'm the best (for him) for (sure) He's running home to me for it. And he knows what ever he wants (that im with it) And he knows the perfect place (to come get it)And he knows that every woman's in me. Fall back and just let me be, please, Back up off of me.
Ladies you ever had your mother say, ‘Honey make sure that you are taking care of business at home”! Ever wander exactly what she meant by the statement? I can tell you that I do. Never leave room for a woman to step in and take care of business where you should. Betty Wright said it best with her 1971 single“Clean Up Woman” - Defined as A woman who 'cleans up', 'who gets all the love we girls leave behind' and collects any men 'dumped in the street', simply put; Men that are neglected sexual by their mates.
Closing out with lyrics from Betty Wright’s “Clean Up Woman"“The clean up woman will wipe his blues away, she'll give him plenty of lovin' 24 hours a day The clean up woman She'll sweep him off his feet She's the one to take him in when you dump him in the street So take a tip You better get hip To the clean up woman 'Cause she's tough I mean she really cleans up "
The Clean Up woman is out there and she aint going nowhere, so if you been sitting down on the bench cause you think you’ve lost him, the you better get up and get your butt back in the game! Don’t let this sista continue to dunk on you! (Sports were used for lack of better analogy) lol Trust me sistas, for every one that won’t there is one that will.
I hate to take the guys side on this one. And I am not commending/condoning a man that stepping out on a marriage/or monogamous relationship Cause he is dead wrong for what he is doing, but if your not doing what you are supposed to do then you are only giving him the go head!
Some people believe in LOVE at 1st sight…Ummmm…I don’t! To be honest, I believe it has to be something physical that attracts you to a person. Some would say that it's their back porch or their nice set of breasticles that make you be like…Ummmmm... I think I love you… Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for you, but that is defined as LUST... Not a bad thing but definitely not Love… Some say that knew it was love when they finally were comfortable to introduce them to their parents. Now that is a dope sign of trust and commitment unless your Pops was like mines and just wanted to know if I had hit it. But through my sojourn of LOVE…I have found one that ALWAYS means that there is a HEART IN THE HOUSE TONITE. Yes and that one thing is…GAS!
Yeah that's right passing gas... You know, the “that just ain't right” air fresher. That sudden breeze that hits a nose like Katrina and makes you question…“Is this Love?” You know when you and your mate be on some "getting to know you" type of crap and you begin to make them laugh about how you wet the bed until HS and all of a sudden…yup…the test of love hits your nose! Immediately you have to evaluate the situation and ask these 3 things
What in the hell did you eat?
If that came from their inside... Do I really want to see what it hit fo?
Could I tolerate that for the rest of my life?
Well, its when you can answer “yes” to #3, that you realized that I may just LOVE HIM/HER… "NOOWWWW let me show you where my parents live…" LOL
But my question is this…Who is normally the first to do something like that in a relationship. Man or Woman? And how do you get comfortable enough with doing it to keep your love on lockdown?
With "THE CHOCOLATE BAR" event quickly approaching on Sept. 24, 2009, I see that it's only appropriate to make this post.
I've always wondered why chocolate and Valentine's Day go together like Kanye West and MTV watching cartoons while eating a bowl of cereal on a Saturday morning. And while I was trying to find out the answer I ran across this post on www.chocolate.gd written by Sarah-Kate Templeton
For a long time women have compared chocolate to sex. Now doctors have discovered a scientific link between the two.
According to Italian scientists, women who eat chocolate regularly have a better sex life than those who deny themselves the treat. Those consuming the sugary snack had the highest levels of desire, arousal and satisfaction from sex.
The urologists from San Raffaele hospital, Milan, questioned 163 women about their consumption of chocolate as well as their experience of sexual fulfilment.
The study, which will be presented at the European Society for Sexual Medicine in London next month, found: Women who have a daily intake of chocolate showed higher levels of desire than women who did not have this habit. Chocolate can have a positive physiological impact on a woman's sexuality.
Dr Andrea Salonia, author of the study funded from a university research budget, not by the confectionery industry said women who have a low libido could even become more amorous after eating chocolate. He believes chocolate could be particularly medicinal for women who shun sex because they are suffering from premenstrual tension.
Chocolate is not like a food, it is like a drug. Women who suffer mood swings as a result of their menstrual cycle may also suffer a dip in their sexual function. I strongly believe eating chocolate may improve their sexual function, said Salonia.
The research looked at the lifestyle habits that affect women's sex lives. It also looked at smoking and coffee consumption but found no links with sexual enjoyment. Some might argue, however, that women who like chocolate are simply more sensually attuned
To sum it all up, women, if you've been having bad sex and you always catch a mood swing, just eat more chocolate! I promise it will make you gain 15lbs. in two weeks your day much lighter...
Posted by: Langston T. Carr
The biggest misconception that most men have about women is "she is impossible to understand." Believe it or not even women think that of themselves, too.
Although the puzzle has not been connected just yet, I have learned to know that women are seemingly possible to understand if we 'men' invest the time it takes in getting to know them. 1 Peter 3:7 says "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding." If we are to live with them with understanding, how could we live with them if they are impossible to understand? I think it is funny how some of us men will pour hours into an instruction manual on how to operate some type of electronic device or machinery, but we won't take the time to get to know our wife.
Furthermore, God Himself has given us our wife because Proverbs 19:4 reminds us "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."
Sometimes, my defense mechanism was activated when my wife asked me a question or confronted me with some shortcoming in my life. Then I discovered, just recently that that was the very reason why God gave her to me. I am blessed with a partner who is my equal... a partner who is talented and who helps me accomplish many goals. This is, in essence, because Genesis says God gave Adam a helper comparable to him. Yes, COMPARABLE to him, not below him like some men tend to think. And although God has allowed me the privilege of being the head of the house and my wife should submit to me, she is comparable and needs to be included in the planning and the decisions that are being made. She should not just be left out; she might point something out that you did not catch.
Men's Responsibilities
God gave men a set of responsibilities regarding our spouse. Are we living up to them? Let's read and find out.
Love Her
This starts early... Mothers teach us how to love, Fathers teach us how to respect. First, we are to love them as Christ loved the church. In Ephesians 5:25 it says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." What exactly does this mean? This was vague for a long time for me, but now I know it means I am to love my wife by dying to self, and to ultimately put her needs above my own.
Second, we are to love them as we love ourselves. Ephesians 5:28 says, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."
Before I fall short of anything less than the way that I was raised, I often ask myself if I would like for someone to treat me the way I am treating my wife once I get upset. Many times the answer is "no." Or, during disagreements what if I treated my friends the way that I treat my wife? The truth is, if I treated them the way I sometimes treat my wife, then I wouldn't have many friends left.
Sanctify and Cleanse Her
It also says in Ephesians 5:26 we are to "sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word." This is a tough one because we are called to be the spiritual leader in our home and sanctify and cleanse our wives through the Word. We sanctify them and cleanse them in two ways: first, through the Bible, by guiding her and teaching her the Word of God. Second, we sanctify and cleanse them through every word that comes from our mouth, which means we are not to speak harshly to our wife. This is an area where I still fall short.
Present Her Holy
Ephesians 5:27 says "that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish." The only way to present our wife holy is to turn to God for guidance, and spend a lot of time on our knees before God asking for help.
Nourish and Cherish Her
Ephesians 5:29 says "for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord [does] the church." The word "nourish" means to provide food, or to bring up to maturity. We tenderly look for ways to lead our wives to the spiritual food and water of God's Word. The word "cherish" means to care for: be fond of; be attached to. Therefore, to cherish our wives means that we care for them, and provide a warm, safe and secure environment for them. Practically, it means providing for their physical needs, but more importantly, it means providing for them emotionally and spiritually.
So my fellow men, I say we have a tall order in front of us, and I know we cannot do it alone. Not only do we need to be in the Word and in prayer seeking the answers and the strength from God, but we also need to become students in the subject and educate ourselves. So I leave you with this -FIND MYSELF IN YOU - one of the greatest songs by my favorite solo artist Mr. Brian McKnight, enjoy...
As a man, it's almost impossible to find women unattractive and unfortunately for us (men), a woman's beauty is also the most powerful weapon that she possess, therefore, in order to keep that beauty we try our best to please them. In today's society women have taken up powerful corporate and social positions and are making headlines. A woman, no matter how powerful, always needs support from a man and vice versa. Men have always lent their shoulders for women to rest on but somehow some women always find a way to mess that up, and we are here to discuss that.
Imagine you are busy in an important meeting and the phone keeps on ringing, even though you disconnected it a couple of times. I am sure that you would absolutely hate it, and this is one point that men find annoying in a woman. Sometimes a woman might fail to understand that her partner or husband has work apart from answering her calls and tending to her constantly - it makes women seem too needy, which is usually a big turn off for a man. Many men find it quite irritating when their partners shout at them because a shirt is not in the proper place or the trousers are lying on the ground, for example- because it comes off as a nagging attitude. A man always wants his woman to take active interest in his work and indifference in that aspect definitely annoys him, because he feels she does not care if interest is not genuinely expressed.
These factors do not really cause a huge dent in a relationship necessarily, but definitely creates dings, and as we all know dings on your car are one of the most irritating things that you can see once you've just washed and waxed it. A man and a woman should be careful of not invading into each other's personal space too much. Men sometimes do not like the self centered attitudes of women. Women are sometimes so worried about themselves that they forget there are other people around. Over possessiveness, jealously and undue interest in other men are certain traits that a man dislikes in a woman.
Imagine you are both at church and suddenly a good looking man walks in. Your girlfriend suddenly starts to talk about how he's dressed and immediately begins to compare you. Is this something that you would appreciate? I'm sure it's not! After all, we all have our own feelings and being compared to another man without any justification surely hurts.
There are several other factors that can turn off a man's feelings towards a woman. If a woman tries to display too much manliness, that can definitely turn a man off. Women often fail to take care of their physical appearance after child birth or after being with their partner for a while. This is something that bothers men, as they are visual creatures. While women should not torture themselves to look a certain way and be a certain size, a woman should invest her best efforts in staying in healthy physical shape- for herself and to please her partner. There is nothing wrong with men and women doing things to please each other, as long as it is done in a healthy manner and no one is being criticized in a hurtful way or having unrealistic expectations put on them.
Some Women are too worried about the materialistic things in life. They forget the finer points in a relationship and become too worried about that big car or a big house. This fact sometimes annoys men, especially if he is not able to fulfill her requirements or it seems like she is never pleased. To maintain a happy relationship, a woman should always try to understand the parameters of her partner and not push him too hard for materialistic things. Spending too much money on jewelry, clothing and ignoring the needs of her partner sometimes disturbs men and makes them doubt the relationship.
Another important factor that can play spoiler in a relationship is the lack of interest in sex. After a certain period in relationship women tend to lose interest in sex. This is something that bothers her partner and leaves him confused. If there is a genuine reason, it should be discussed between the partners so they can enjoy the bliss of togetherness.
Some of the factors mentioned above are truly disturbing for men. The silver lining is, all this can be sorted out if the partners try to accommodate each other and share their opinions. A woman should always discuss her problems in a relationship with her partner, rather than gossiping with friends or keeping it all inside, assuming he will figure it out. This may further deepen the dent in a relationship. Every man craves for a certain amount of importance from his partner. He feels good if he gets priority in the finer things in life from his partner. It is always important for a woman to display her feminine characteristics to the best of her ability. This, along with team work can make a man happy and drive a relationship to the pinnacle of happiness.
Posted by: Tramon Arnold
The Love between a man and woman can be a special thing...especially when you love her right. Women love to trust a man and have faith that he truly loves her and not her body. We as men need to have a realistic view of women: Don't expect more than you will get of your woman. You have to be prepared for the good and the bad from her. There may be times when she is literally the "perfect woman" in your eyes, but I guarantee there are going to be times when you think she is a …..I will let you fill in the lines.
Protect and Respect Her: Unfortunately some women may or may not have had ever felt a real sense of security from a man. She make put on "I don't take no sh*t!" attitude, however, deep inside she wants to know that you are there for her and on her side. She wants to rest assure that you will not let others disrespect her or violate her in any, way, shape or form, especially in your presence. She also wants to make sure that you do not harm her either.
Do Not Try to Change Her: One of the biggest mistakes men make with women altogether is trying to turn a woman into their fantasy girl. We want face like Halle body like Beyonce and the infamous lady in the street and a freak in the bed. You should never try to change a woman, let her be herself.
Surprise Her: Taking her to get a massage, or just take her some roses to her job will definitely make her smile. Surprising your woman lets her know that you care enough to think about her even when she is not around.
Earning Her Trust: Many women don't just trust any man that walks into their life. They want a man who can prove that he is saying, not a liar or cheater. Know that she is silently checking you out, making sure that you are who you say you are and she is focusing in on how you treat her. Without her trust the relationship is dead!! Trust is earned. She is not being arrogant or trying to reject you, she just wants to make sure that her heart is secure and that it won't be broken. We as men have taken women through there!! You can simply earn her trust by keeping your promises and not breaking them and staying consistent.
Stay Committed: That DAMN Temptation is a mofo and hits us all day, everyday. Try to stay away from other women that got that craziness on their mind and avoid breaking her heart. When you love somebody you stay committed. I know that women outnumber us 10 – 1 but just think about what you have. This brings us back to the trust issue. If you want her trust, stay with her.
Listen to Her Problems: Listen to your woman. Many women run away from criticism. If you are always criticizing her she is going to eventually shut down. Don't rush to solve her problems for her unless you have to. Just listen to her. Trust her to make the right decisions. If you have a little advice to give her, then do so, but try not to harm her ego or make her feel ashamed or bad about herself. Help her to stay confident and work through the problem on her own.
Invest in Her Happiness: If you see something that makes her laugh makes her feel good invest in it. If she loves pink roses...hook her up from time to time with one single rose or a huge bunch. Make time for her to do the things she loves, even if it doesn't involve you. Keep a compliment in your back pocket. Tell her that she looks good without make-up on!!
Take the Blame: When you do something wrong...just admit it. Don't try to be prideful and lie about the situation. Put that ish on the table. Trust me she will respect you better and also it will avoid an unnecessary agreement. And do not be afraid to correct the matter. This will help your woman to see that you are human and not superman. Hell men mess up a time or two...its' ok...ya'll might even get a good laugh out of it; plus she will still love you’re a** in the morning.
Be Responsible: Playing playstation, constantly hitting up the clubs, and not taking care of business is means for red flags for a woman to leave you. When it is time to pay the bills, please pay them on time. When it is time to take care of your responsibilities show her that you can handle it without her help. Women want a man that can hold his own and support and provide for him and her.
Be Yourself: Just like your woman wouldn't want you to change her, don't change yourself. You will become miserable trying to pretend that you are something or more than you really are. Be honest with her. Let her know what you like, love, adore, hate and want to know more about. Do not be afraid to be goofy if that is who you are, or to be dorky. Just be you. She will not want a fake person in her life. The last things that women like are fake people.
Have physical affection that does not always lead to sex: Sometimes women want more than you kissing her one-minute and then the next minute trying to SMASH. She wants physical affection without having sex sometimes too. If the physical affection leads to sex then that's cool but if not just hold her in your arms.
Share your Morals: Believing in God, loving your mother, taking care of people in need, are many great qualities that women look for. They don’t expect men to be perfect, but they do expect us to have some basic moral standards in his life. Try to get to another level spiritually together. If God is not in the relationship the relationship is doomed!!! She will not trust a man if he does not practice what he preaches or sticks to what he knows is right. She definitely does not want a man who cheats, lies or steals, and trust me; she is watching to make sure that you don't. Share your morals with her and expect her to do the same.
Love Her No Matter What: Your Nubian queen is a beautiful creation. Love, respect, and honor her. Do not be afraid to let her know it and always show her that you love her.
I hope that God willing this will help the men out there who want to love women the way that they deserve.
Posted by: Langston T. Carr
I'm writing this on behalf of myself and all of the other guys who try to be gentlemen. The question I want to know the answer to is "HOW CAN A GUY BE TOO NICE?" I mean what is it about women that don't know how to accept kindness without mistaking it for weakness? You don't want a dawg, and you don't want a nice guy. I guess you want someone inbetween huh? LOL! Someone to love you and then go and smash the homie(girl) and come back home to momma! Why do I say this? Well, because most of you go are involved in relationships of this matter.
Fact is, most women now are already coping with the fact that "MEN ARE GOING TO CHEAT" therefore you deal with it, which by the way is your first mistake, and then you try to change the man, which is your second! As long as you put up with foolishness, a person is going to continue to be foolish... I guess you will never realize that once a person gets older, you can't change him/her. They have to want to change for themselves...
When I was younger, I experienced being "Mr. Nice Guy" quite often, therefore, often times I became stuck in the dreaded "FRIEND BOX" which pissed me off! But I kept my cool about it. Anyway, eventually, I ended up with a lot of female friends. But thank God for those female friends. Over the course of time, I learned more about women than I could have ever learned from my mother or my sister. I studied their body language, and I listend to their tear drops each time that other guy did them wrong, and most importantly, I remained patient and humble by not changing the person that I am. Sooner than later, that phrase "You're just too nice..." eventually turned into "Awh, you're so sweet...I wish I had someone like you in my life..." You always want something that you can't have or when that time is convenient for you, not realizing that what you want doesn't want you anymore...
But, what I don't get is how is it that you (women) can go around cheering on your man who's pounding 5 different women and still be with him and deeply in love? Saying "THAT B*TCH KNEW I WAS HERE FIRST! I AM THE HBNC!" and eventually putting the blame on the other woman. I mean, don't get me wrong here, I also have had my faults, but I learned from them as well - I grew up. But, I've always been a pretty good and decent man. Mama taught me better, and "CHIVALRY" (I know I lost you there, but if you don't know what it is, there's this little thing called a dicitionary. They even have them on the web.) is still alive and kicking in my household! But the thing is, you women don't know too much about that definition anymore... It's simply a part of being a gentleman and not the short term definition of the word neither, the full term one! No PART TIME LOVER, but a FULL TIME LOVER (peep video). Fact is, most guys get snubbed for being that now-a-days. Women are almost just like men, you want to play around and have your fun until you realize one day that there is a empty spot in your life. Then you get to the point where you just want a serious and monogamous relationship, but that guy who really wanted to share that time with you is now gone, so you get to the point where it doesn't matter as long as he doesn't have an STD. Therefore you lower your already low standards and well... eventually end up disappointed to say the least...
I swear to you, one day, you (women) are going to wake up and realize how much you care for "MR. NICE GUY" and when that day comes, he'll be waking up next to the woman who realized long ago... I know I have...
My point of this blog is "SIMPLY PAY MORE ATTENTION TO MR. NICE GUY" he's most likely right next door.
Meeting someone new is refreshing. Isn't it? You feel like you can exhale. Whether you've been on the dating scene for a while with very little luck, or you've been in hibernation for months, recovering from last season's broken heart, the excitement of meeting someone who could make you happy is exciting. You are already creating names for your children before he can even finish telling you his name.
So ya’ll go out he picks you up, takes you to Copeland’s, ya’ll go to a movie, the date and everything is great! You feel like Stella and you've got your groove back and then he ask…drum roll please…."Do you want to come back to my crib and talk?" Ok here is where the situation gets sticky. There is no crime inviting a guy in or going back and chilling at his crib. The problem is that most guys want to be alone because when they smell blood they go in for the kill!
Real talk a guy doesn’t want to date a girl who is willing to SMASH after they first met. Of course he won’t tell you that because if you are willing, we are not going to stop and tell you that it was a test and you just failed. You just won’t get a phone call unless he wants to SMASH. The truth is that there is just something that is so respectable and attractive with a woman that is willing to hold fast to the belief that her body is more precious than a dinner and a movie. And believing it is totally different than putting the belief into practice. Early sex can sometimes jumpstart a relationship, but real talk it’s not often. Nothing tanks a potential relationship quicker than early sex. Men need a challenge. When you say "NO" it sparks the interest more.
So how long should you make him wait? Well, that’s up to you. If you’re not interested in a relationship, just go ahead and SMASH. Skip the formalities. But if you’re not looking for casual sex, give him a chance to get to know you. And give yourself a chance to get to know him. Connect on all other levels before connecting physically. Don’t let him guilt you into SMASHING. In these situations, you’ll feel guilty and unsatisfied afterwards. Despite what he might tell you in the beginning sex is a big deal and feelings get involved eventually. And instead of jumping into it you should wait. You are worth it!!!
1. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up.
2. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.
3. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being, and therefore don't act like one.
4. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.
5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a
dating prospect
We wanted to know your thoughts on this article so we decided to hit the streets for answers for real people with real answers... If you haven't had an opportunity to read the article, I strongly suggest that you do so by clicking the attached link "Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating"
You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.
was so great about you that it just totally flipped your bad day into a good one? Who doesn't love to be told, "You really look nice today," or "What fragrance are you wearing because you smell nice," or my personal favorite "Your wife is so lucky to have you..." 
who are still single because they feel that the little things their mothers and grandmothers did to stay married, are too beneath them to deal with... But obviously they were doing something right because now, 
time that he wants it and you don’t give it. You should always be willing and able to put it down. Lyric’s by Bettys Wright “Clean Up Woman” 
Imagine you are busy in an important meeting and the phone keeps on ringing, even though you disconnected it a couple of times. I am sure that you would absolutely hate it, and this is one point that men find annoying in a woman. Sometimes a woman might fail to understand that her partner or husband has work apart from answering her calls and tending to her constantly - it makes women seem too needy, which is usually a big turn off for a man. Many men find it quite irritating when their partners shout at them because a shirt is not in the proper place or the trousers are lying on the ground, for example- because it comes off as a nagging attitude. A man always wants his woman to take active interest in his work and indifference in that aspect definitely annoys him, because he feels she does not care if interest is not genuinely expressed. 
already low standards and well... eventually end up disappointed to say the least... 
